Growing up

Ever have those nights where you can't sleep and you just toss and turn?. Luckily for me my husband was doing the same lol. Usually it's just me cause I'm a totally a night owl but it was funny cause he was on the same boat. Last night we had one of those nights where we thought about a song and played it and sang to it and had deep conversations at midnight lol. Mind you he had to work at 6am but it was a much needed conversation. 

We talked about our callings and things that are different between the wards we've served in. We talked about our relationships with our ward members and how differently we served in the different wards. After complaining about the things that we wished were better in our current ward we finally came to the realization it's not the ward it was us lol. We have not been opening our hearts and haven't been loving the people we serve and just haven't been loving our ward members. Kind of sucks when you put the blame on others and don't realize the real reason things are not the way you want it. Change is something that must start with the person who wants to see change. 

So as I am sitting here on my day off I can't help but think that wow we are finally growing up lol. When things are not going right don't focus on the things around you but focus on what you yourself is doing. Lately I haven't been feeling much spiritual growth. I've come to the point that if I'm late to sacrament I'm fine with it I know that is the most important thing on Sunday but I've been slacking. I don't feel the urgency to get to church to renew my covenants which I know is so bad. I'm in primary and that has been my main focus to be there for primary but I know Heavenly Father would rather want me there for sacrament. Also since I've been serving in Primary I don't get taught a lesson on Sundays we pretty much stay and help in primary so sometimes I feel I'm not learning anything or not getting spiritually fed. After last night I've finally realized that it's all my fault that I am not feeling close to Heavenly Father. I can give legit excuses to why I am late for church and why I'm not being spiritually fed. But when it comes down to it if I'm late to sacrament I can stay for the next wards sacrament, I can also read the lessons that everyone is on and being taught and feel spiritually fed. The church has so many sources and many things that can help me feel closer to Heavenly Father but it's something I need to choose to do. 

Trying to think of ways to change my way of thinking and stop waiting for opportunities to be taught and to feel spiritually uplifted it is something I can totally do on my own. So I am grateful for the opportunity that my husband and I had last night to figure this all out. I am also setting aside a time everyday to read scriptures, the ensigns and go over conference talks so that I can feel uplifted everyday. No more excuses!!

So grateful for my husband don't know what I'd do without him. Lets see where the rest of the year takes us. I know if I make this one change in my daily routine Heavenly Father will bless us.