Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

I have been so excited lately about getting ready to adopt from Tahiti. But of course I am once again faced with challenges (I'm not complaining cause I know God wouldn't give me something I couldn't handle) but at this moment I'm just having a hard time with it all.

Well everything just wasn't working out just the communication with the family. They would say one thing Like "we are pregnant" just for us to find out later on that they still don't know.  Just a lot of miscommunication and I guess you can say "white lies". Just to many stories that weren't adding up to what was really happening. I am so sad,shocked,hurt,annoyed and just out of it. I guess it didnt help that I don't speak Tahitian or French. So it was hard for my husband to cause I would annoy him constantly about calling them and what not. It was a hard decision for us to make especially cause we were both excited about the whole thing. But seriously when someone says they are pregnant and then says they are not over and over you start to wonder. I'm not mad at them or hate them it was just hard to take in.. One moment they are pregnant then the next something happens or they themselves don't know they are pregnant. I just felt like they played with our emotions. 

I finally come to realization that this whole thing maybe wasn't meant to be. Maybe I need to stop trying to imagine what a perfect life looks like and enjoy the life I'm living.  As much as I want a new addition to my family especially cause everyone else's seem to be growing. Maybe I need to focus on the things I can control and stop focussing on the things that I can't control like having a baby. 

Maybe God has other plans for me. I am going to try to focus on a new goal. Like buying a house, getting fit and growing spiritually. I am going to try my hardest not to let this bring me down but to let it help me be stronger. I know if I trust in the lord and let him handle things. My life will be full of happiness! 

Even though having a baby would be so nice and a great experience. I know things will work out for us. This is a small issue compared to what others are going thru so I am just grateful for everything I do have and I'm just crossing my fingers will one day be blessed with children. If not its ok life is still great and really what we make it....

"No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be."

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

"You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have."

"Sometimes good things fall apart
So better things can fall together."